Bio
Name: Daniel Robert Lance Big Plume
Nickname: Saturnyne
Birthday: May 3, 1980
Age: 26
Sun Sign: Taurus
Moon Sign: Sagittarius
Chinese Zodiac: Monkey (Born)
Height: 170 cm
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
Status: Single
Favorites
Color: Blue
Food: Chicken
Animal: Cat
Anime: Sailormoon
Show: CSI
PJ's: Sweatpants/ T-shirt
Pokemon: Porygon
Website: NHB Radio
My Linux Desktop
Current Moods
Song: Dog's A Best Friend's Dog
Links
Official Sins Of Science Homepage
Space-Kitten.Org
Wing Commander CIC
Tears For Fears
Contact
Email: saturnyne1d@netscape.net
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Tuesday, September 24, 2002
2:37 PM I hate Calgary. I hate Canada. I hate this place. Hate it hate it hate it. So far, the only good part is that my therapist doesn't think I need meds. That will ilicit the only "whoohoo!" that will be seen in this entry. When I originally moved up here, I thought I'd be here long enough to finish high school, get whatever I need to treat my depression and then go off to Berklee where I might continue the life I started rolling here. Not so. My mom has decided to go for the coveted PhD. In time, my mother will be Dr. instead of Ms. It's cool in its way, because it means she's furthering herself, and doing something that will make her happy. And don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her. But see, here's the thing. Since she has to quit her job to be a full time student/T.A., my brother and I have to work to support the family. Wait for it. I'm still not at the bad part. I can get a job easily enough. That's no problem. Hopefully, my friend will come through and get me work at the place where he works. But I digress. Since my mom, brother and I must all make sweeping changes to our lives, we are all affected in different ways. And since this is my gripe/bitch/moan/bitch some more forum, I'll talk about how it affects me, because well... to you, the reader, how it affects my brother and mom don't really matter to you much, does it? Okay then. Well, my aforementioned plan has been radically changed... I thought I'd be here a year at most or something like that. Just enough to get my HSD and get things together for Berklee, so I could do some musical studying and learn more about music composition and the like. So how long do I have to put my world, dreams, hopes and aspirations on hold? Six years. That's right, six years. Since I was 17, my mom and everyone around me has been trying to get my going with my life. To get it started, to think about a career and get into that career for the personal fulfillment and joy it will eventually bring me. And now, because of a strong, deep-seated sense of altruism, I have to put my life on hold for six more years. No music career. No recording contract. No Berklee. No anything. I get to work for the next six years to support my family so my mom can further her life, leaving me to do nothing but put mine on hold. I make it sound more disgusting than it is. I only have to pay a third of the total rent here, as well as my food. That's pretty much it. So it's not that bad in that respect... and I suppose I've been telling myself that I need to give of myself to my family more... I mean, here's a rundown of all the things I can remember giving selflessly to my family. I am a Native Canadian. When we turn 18, we get $5000 from our Native band office. When I turned 18, we were in dire straights moneywise, so all of my $5000 went to paying bills. When my brother got his, he bought himself a new computer. I figure that's a selfless (If bloody unfair) act if I do say so myself. And I do say so. I remember as a kid, I used to go to a school where all my friends went. We had wonderful old times at recess and such. Then, my mom discovered that she needed to save gas, so she asked if it was okay if I changed schools and went to one that was within walking distance. I buried my head so she couldn't see me crying, and I said that I'd change schools. Another selfless act? Hmm... perhaps. Though some would argue otherwise. Probably for good reason. But it was an incident that came to mind. In any case, this would be the third big sacrifice I made for my family... and like the other two times, not so much as a thank you. But hey, that's okay. Well, in the long run it is. I'm just bitter right now is all. I hate Calgary. I hate Canada. Hate it hate it hate it hate it.
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