The Talk

Late one evening sat four burly men and one petite girl around a large table littered with plates covered in frosting and mugs of half finished beer. Cassius was the middle son, leaning back in his chair with his feet resting up on the table. Dion the youngest son, was lighting up a cigarette. Brennen, second oldest, had his third plate of cake for the evening. While Aaron, the oldest, was sitting at the head of the table quietly eying the spitfire little redhead that was now complaining at Cassius.

“Get your feet off the damned table! Mother taught you better manners than that!” she hissed, throwing a fork with painful accuracy and sticking him square in the chest.

“Ow! Damnit, Brownie! She said you’re not supposed to throw shit either!” complained Cassius, picking up a spoon and getting ready to lob it across the table. Brennen laid a quick hand over his arm and shook his head.

By now, Aaron was rubbing his chin with thought. “Sixteen, that’s legally an adult female.”

Bronwen gave a beaming smile, posing in her chair with pride. “Yep. Not only can I fly any ship I want, I can go anywhere I please with who I please without one of you baboons for a chaperon! It’s the greatest day of my life!”

“Yes… I think it’s about time we have ‘The Talk.’” replied Aaron.

Brennen choked on his bite of cake while Dion paused mid puff. Cassius started laughing boisterously.

Bronwen just blinked at her brothers, a questioning eyebrow raised as she leaned forward on the table. “Okay… it’s not another lecture about how to fly, is it? Fa has been nagging me about that all month.”

Aaron cleared his throat. “No. You’re sixteen now and you’ve already expressed… interest in boys… men. You need to know what men and women do together.”

“Hells bells, Aaron. I already learned all that crap in school.” Bronwen said, rolling her eyes as she rest her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. “You’re like… five years late.”

“School hardly touches the subject of sex. Man urges. You need to know all of this in deta-”

Brennen interrupted Aaron. “I’m sure she doesn’t need to know all the detal-”

“Of course she does!” shouted Cassius before Brennen could finish his sentence “You want our little sister running off with some jerkass that just wants to grab her tits and stick his pe-” CLONK! The back of Aaron’s hand collided with Cassius’ face, causing the man to tumble backwards from his chair in to the floor.

Bronwen suddenly had the feeling this was a conversation she did NOT want a part of. She eased slowly out of her chair. “You know what, it’s been a long day. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

“Erika, sit down.” said Aaron.

“…yessir.” Bronwen muttered reluctantly, lowering herself back to her chair. She cast Dion her best sad-puppy ‘save me!’ face!

Dion shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Sorry, Brownie. Better you hear it now than right before a date…”

“Yes…” started Aaron slowly. “Dates. When you’re on a date, remember that no matter how pretty his words are or what he does, all he wants is to have sex. Sex anywhere. Everywhere. All the time. That’s all we met want out of a pretty girl.”

“Oh god…” was all Bronwen could squeak out before her head hit the table. “Is that all…?”

Cassius had climbed back in to his chair. “No, it’s not. Just in case you don’t know, sex is sticking his penis in yo-” THWACK! This time it was Brennen’s elbow that shot out and cracked Cassius in the nose.

Brennen coughed. “What Cassius means, is that there’s a lot more to sex than just kissing. Fondling, private parts… nudity. It’s all great fun. …for men! Not for you. Ever. It’s horrible messy stuff.”

Dion was shaking his head. “That’s not true. It’s only a disaster the first few times until you know what you’re doing. If she’s anything like us, she’ll figure it out quick enough.”

“OKAY!” Bronwen sat up quickly and stood from her chair. “That’s enough! No more! I swear to gawd if you start describing stuff like sixty-nines and blowjobs I’m going to be sick! …Oh god.. I think I already am… I am never ever ever having sex!” Bronwen covered her ears before they could spit out anything else disturbing, and escaped from the room with a door slam behind her!

Cassius returned to his chair, and paused before picking up his mug of beer. “…How does she know what a sixty-nine is…?”

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